It could be because harmful T's feel more familiar. People are often drawn to those who replicate their past, especially their relationship with caregivers. A toxic T may feel more 'right' than an ethical, boundaried, caring T. People naturally go to what is familiar.....'better the devil you know.' Also, with a toxic T, a trauma bond often results which replicates the intense attachment created in childhood and it's near on impossible to let go. Just my thoughts. I've been fortunate enough to never experience a toxic T, although a couple of t's I saw said stuff that was pretty upsetting.