I'm struggling with an issue. Last fall when we broke up with his infidelity being the last straw, I was able to hold him accountable for his actions, including the abuse. I finally felt I had a voice after two years of not having a voice. I was able to hold this over him for being the reason why our marriage was ending.

But now, this second go around, because he "found God" and was "so good" to me, I have no voice or power anymore. There is nothing I can hold him accountable for because he claims he's been nothing but loving and kind to me in recent months.

I know with abusers there IS no accountability, so I already know this. It won't help me if people tell me to not expect him to take responsibility because I know he will not.

What angers me is that now I am in a far more powerless position than I was before. Before, I was able to hold it over him and make him accountable, and now I don't have a leg to stand on with him. He has repeatedly told me how he's dramatically changed and how he's come before Jesus and God to make amends and to make things right with me.

I'm just really angry that I've lost the position I used to hold over him, and now I feel powerless all over again and without a voice.

With abusers, there is no accountability, and I am left feeling and experiencing the injustice of it all.

It’s not that I want to hurt him back. I want him to know that too much damage occurred and that it’s truly not fixable. And I don’t use his infidelity at all as a weapon. Instead, I’m still very hurt by that in addition to all other hurtful and damaging behaviors and treatment. It’s that I want him to understand that a few weeks of good behavior in no way makes up for all the harm and hurt he caused. I’ve wanted him to know that he’s hurt me greatly in this marriage, which he does now know and acknowledge.