Really good point. I noticed that if you don't have anything (or not enough things) to compare to in terms of behaviour and you've already been abused mentally and emotionally, then this stuff can be really gaslighty, claiming that they do these good things while they don't really. It's great how we can remind Have Hope of how it's all ********, even if she knows it is, it must be helping if she hears it from us too. It helped me too back then, a friend I knew back then was really good at it and with that he really helped me leave and not look back even if it was such a harsh truth too (at the time, in the state I was in), the things he was saying about how there was ***** going on.