Corbie - your post reminded me of something too that I've talked about with L. It is easier for a child for them to think there's something wrong with themselves than to think there's something wrong with their parents/protectors/"safe" people. Because if there's something wrong with themselves they can fix it, make it better. But if there's something wrong with the "adult" it can shatter their world. I think (err...know) that this can happen as adults too. It's easier for there to be something wrong with me because then I can fix it.