I think I have the triggers mainly when they warn me that the other person may be fake in expressing or may be lying, etc. And maybe when people are real and not fake maybe I can sense that more easily and there need to not be triggers then. So maybe that is the answer to the 2nd issue. (Similar for the first issue)

It's like I'm regaining my emotional memory and learning about manipulation and fakeness like that too, and it helps me focus more on the overall situation to detect such behaviours.

When the fakeness is just socially appropriate pretension/behaviours, that's fine btw. My issue is if the context is supposed to be more emotionally intimate than superficial small talk or other superficial situation.

I am trying to read more hidden agendas than before, for these emotionally intimate contexts. The triggers seem to help for that actually.

I also am avoiding people who are emotionally too intense too fast. I think that will not change. In response, I will always be detached and disengaged internally from such people.

Also from people who overdo the social appropriateness and try to seem like a really good person. (When they are not actually genuine and act from motives that are less than pure. I am fine with just normal enough people, with a basic good character, I don't need people to be so special good, let alone pretend to be that.)

I believe that with all this I am processing a trigger from last Friday. Earlier, someone acted s**t before, misusing their position (yes in an emotionally intimate situation of course - they are training to be a therapist and were to interview me. And then, let's not even mention that their misuse of the position pushed a trigger for an earlier long-term trauma), and then when they responded in a really really extra nice way to something I noted last Friday, that was really nice at first but then when I remembered how they previously ignored my issue with their earlier behaviour was when I got the trigger coming up. It was really bad because it was linking to how I was earlier processing more memories (emotionally reliving them for the first time tbh) from a traumatic relationship. Oh yeah so I don't trust people like that. Them being really nice being a mask.

Thanks for letting me write this out here.