Agreed. For some reason, it's just ammunition to people. It probably triggers them somewhere their own buried traumas ha ha. ...... I really have no other explanation for it except the below one, of course. It's just stupid. I don't bother to understand it. It's what it is. I cut off many people before I realised this was just how it was. Only people who actually really care about you or about humanity in general will not use it as ammunition. So it at least is a good test to show the level of their caring and emotional investment.

Now I don't tell them at all about how it's causing trauma reactions for me, I decided it's too private to mention (it's lessened anyway by now), I just am like, I will tell them assertively and yea sometimes - if they behaved really crappily - a bit aggressively that I want s**t to stop, because I find that helps me not have a too strong trauma reaction or helps remove it.

And if they don't listen, then I just stop contact, yeah.

If they do listen, and it happens to coincide with the cases where I don't talk aggressively even just a bit, just assertively and constructively, because they did less bad s**t in the first place anyway, then I can still be okay with them. Sometimes this happens, and I won't mind these people, and may still talk to them afterwards, but I still distance internally from them. I just make myself disengage.

Also, talking aggressively or not doesn't seem to have anything to do with the outcome with these people. The aggressiveness or anger I feel, that only has to do with the amount of s**t behaviour that causes triggers for me. And that's why they also don't actually listen to me and respect my issue. Like I said I tried to talk about how it makes me feel, no aggressiveness or anger at all, and that didn't make them respect it or pay attention to it any more. Because of their willingness to do s**t in the first place.