Hi browneyes,

This is going to be quite long, but I feel very strongly about this subject. Telling people you are bipolar can be touchy and most people keep it to themselves as much as possible because of the stigma attached to mental illness, but I am much like you and wanted to tell my family. I felt that I needed to be honest, because of the possibility that someone else in our family may have the same problem and to prove that being bipolar is not akin to being diseased.

I am a wife and mother, I am a daughter and granddaughter, I am a friend, I am intelligent, I am creative, I am everyone's confidant, I am the sensitive one who understands, I am the one that was told all my life that I can do whatever I put my mind to, and I am also bipolar II. I am not crazy or scary or pathetic like many think those who are mentally ill are and since being diagnosed I have felt the need to educate those I know about the face behind mental illness. I know that I am just one person and my honesty will not change the world’s views on mental illness, but my silence will not change anyone's hearts or minds at all. I may be judged harshly yes, but I may also help facilitate some change to the stigma that keeps us in the "closet."

I would like to make the following suggestions.

1- Put as positive a spin on the subject as possible. I know that putting a positive spin on bipolar seems impossible, but here are some ideas. Those who are bipolar are usually very intelligent and creative people and if you google famous bipolar people you will see that many famous names in history were bipolar; Florence Nightingale, Plato, Abraham Lincoln, Buzz Aldrin, Issac Newton, Beethoven, Rosemary Clooney, Cary Grant, and Robert Frost just to name a few. We are in very good company.

2- Be as through in the clinical explanation of the disease as possible. It helps to tell people that bipolar is a chemical imbalance in the brain causing neurotransmitters to communicate using too much or too little information causing fluctuating moods. This helps explain that this is not simply an emotional problem, but that bipolar is very much a physical problem too. I would also include that bipolar runs in families. This helps back up the physical aspect of the disease. For many people understanding that bipolar is not all about being emotionally unstable and that there is a physical reason for the mood swings shows people that you can't help that you are a manic-depressive. Far too many people think that if you are mentally ill you are weak and should be able to pull yourself up by your boot straps and get better or that you are just imaging things. Helping people understand that this disease is rooted in the physical can make a big difference.

3- Explain how bipolar is treated/controlled. To far too many people being diagnosed with a mental illness means your life is over, but by talking about your treatment it helps show others that you are taking care of yourself and that life is far from over for you. Acknowledge that life isn’t easy for you and that this is an illness that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life, but that you have a good course of treatment and that with support and medication you can live a great life (see all those great people above). If you use a disease such as diabetes as an example, weird I know, it helps put it in terms that more people can understand. If you are diabetic you have to take medication, watch what you eat, etc. for the rest of your life. With bipolar you have to take medication, watch for triggers, etc for the rest of your life. If you have a favorite book or even pamphlet on bipolar offering it to your audience can open up a dialogue, or help others who do not understand what you are saying, are too shocked to understand, or too embarrassed to ask questions to understand the illness.

4- Be very sure you want to tell because you can’t take it back once you do. Once you tell word is bound to get around and this may negatively affect you. Telling can take a bit of courage because, being bipolar is more than enough to deal with without having to worry about people judging you. Just be very sure that this is what you want for yourself before you do something you can’t take back.

I’m sure that most people wouldn’t agree with what I have to say, but I hope you find it of some help.

Good Luck!