So if you don’t know what it is within the community, it’s basically where you try to hide parts of the ASD you have. Example: Eye contact is so difficult for me since it clouds my mind and I can’t properly think but for NTs eye contact is crucial, so in social situations, I mask that part and maintain eye contact. Before, it would be too much eye contact and intense but from random research I found you should look away every 6 seconds so that’s what I do.

What I wanna know, is what parts do you mask? Have you tried it? Do you feel like you’re a good masker? Do you experience side effects when you try to hide parts of your ASD/mask it like depression or wanting more social isolation?

My masking abilities while I’m at work are spot on (I have 2 VERY demanding jobs at 2 different 5 star resorts… so no joke when it comes to customer service and my ability to mask) yet out of work I’m socially awkward or quirky as my mom would say. My ability to mask is like a switch but my mental health has deteriorated quickly (I believe due to my constant masking which is a common byproduct of doing too much masking).

I also realise I’m somewhat robotic, like there are only so many social scenarios I’m equipped to handle and if I’m presented with one I’m unfamiliar or uncomfortable with I quickly shutdown and become shy or become awkward even more. Another side effect I’ve had from masking is not only wanting more isolation but it’s like my lack of eye contact is increasing when I’m not at work (maybe to compensate for all I must do at work).

If you care to have some of my techniques (if not then no need to read further but for those who want some more techniques to add to their list continue reading) here they are:

Eye contact is crucially, people relate lack of contact with distrust or deceit, while others relate it with hiding something. Too much eye contact is just as bad. So instead of looking at their eyes try looking at their imaginary unibrow, they won’t know you’re not looking at their eyes. But don’t forget to look at something random every 6-10 seconds (I counted at first but now it’s become second nature, but switch it up so it’s not repetitive). But don’t look away too long or they’ll think it’s rude and don’t look at a clock they’ll think you’re just trying to run away or leave.

-People love to talk about themselves, so appear more concerned with asking how they are and what they’ve been up to.

-We have specialty mirror neurons that automatically react when someone smiles at us so give a friendly smile to help disengage someone. Like if someone looks at you or is looking, give a gentle nod and small smile or something and usually they’ll smile right back

Watch other people. I’m a huge people watcher maybe even try talking as if you’re talking to someone else and practice social scenarios like I do when no one can possibly hear me lol… I’m not pretending to be some expert of ASD/psychology/sociology but I’ve learned through trial and error and tons of research and my jobs have made me an expert in customer service issues at literally all levels since my company deals heavily with politicians, celebrities and athletes (cool story: I met floyd mayweather, saw Beyonce, Tyson Fury, and Brad Garrett all within the same 2 weeks at my job)