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Old May 17, 2021, 05:07 AM
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Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,737
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive99 View Post
And I would say this is also about psychological boundaries. If you realise that your experience and the situation is really about you and your psyche, your feelings, emotions, and you focus on that to figure that out, and focus on your own feelings and own & accept them, rather than focusing on the other person, that sets up a boundary which will help with disengaging from bad patterns (such as the stalemate above) and taking action in effective ways. The above is an example of drawing these boundaries.
Yes - I've drawn these mental boundaries for myself. If I start down the road of thinking about him and how HE feels, I change my thoughts to focus on myself and how I feel.

He does still have some sort of an emotional hold on me, but that's natural, as you said, and will fade in time. I know it's only because I am alone now and feel lonely at times.
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Thanks for this!
Alive99