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Old May 17, 2021, 05:27 AM
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Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,741
My very first post in this thread was about how I've disappeared after dealing with my abusive, self absorbed and self centered husband. And yes, he could be a psychopath, I do not really know, but I am doing anything and everything lately to get myself back.

Yesterday, I drove myself to the beach and hung out solo for an hour, listening to my music. I've been decorating my apartment to my liking now that he's gone, and I've bought several pieces of artwork, new bed sheets, a new bed cover, a rug and some other things to decorate the way I prefer and love. I am listening to my own music, and I am watching uplifting sermons on TV that help to ground me in who I am. I feel myself very slowly coming back, but it's taking time.

He does seem to steal my thoughts, so I try to redirect my thoughts back to myself every time I find myself ruminating on him or on how HE feels. I am creating mental boundaries now in order to heal, to focus on myself and to bring myself back to life. It's not easy to do... like on my drive to the beach I found myself wondering about him, and I had to purposefully stop myself and think about something else.

Not seeing his posts on Facebook is helping A LOT. And stopping him from texting me is helping a LOT. I finally have breathing room to focus on ME. He had flooded me with so many messages all about him, that I got sucked into thinking only about him. It's time to think about myself, take care of myself and recover.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Hugs from:
Alive99, Bill3
Thanks for this!
Alive99, Bill3