Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind
Honestly the reason I am so freaked out about ppl judging me here is bc the last several times when I posted things that were not upbeat, I got lectured on how ppl here don't need to hear about my problems, they got enough of their own that people come here to learn to deal with their issues in a positive way so unless I wanted to post something positive, the likelihood is nobody is going to respond. Since I have been coming here for years and truly used to post only really depressed things, that was a shocker. As a result, I started going solely to the forum for people that have been here for many years. This is me giving this forum another chance .. but still very nervous in so doing.
As far as his phrases.. I think it's more to do with his own mental health issues and the fact he is in pain than it is the "man cycle". Also, neither he nor I care for the people around here so the only friends I have are online and for whatever reason at the time i wrote this, my online friends were getting mad at me for things that still make no sense to me.
An example - a man I do not know (but is a friend of one of my friends) saw a post I had commented on that was posted by our mutual friend. Apparently, she had shared his post so he thought it was his post. The problem was that our mutual friend had posted a rant that was based upon someone else's post describing the type of person they enjoy having sexual relations with. In my comment, I referenced that particular post to our mutual friend. So this man, decided to call me rude and crude and a bunch of other things. Then he realized his err (that it was not his post, but our mutual friend's post) and deleted the comment. But I had seen it and it upset me .. so Inasked for an apology. The dude just got more aggressive and insulting. I tried talking to him about it on his page rather than hers but he kept deleting my comments and then going back to her post to comment on .. so I conversed with him there. In the end, he simply blocked me rather than apologize, which was fine. I messaged her to apologize for blowing up her post. She got furious with me and started calling me ridiculous and etc. Them she blocked me too. She was a friend of over 5 yrs. So me defending myself and requesting an apology was "wrong" in her mind. Wrong enough to end a 5yr+ friendship over. I don't understand that.
So I was reluctant to speak to them but still needed to talk. My husband got weird like I explained in the post. So I reluctantly came here.
As far as how I complimented him, my exact words were "I can't get over how much better your feet look!"
Does that help understand the situation?
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I'm sorry about that. I ran into the lecturing too sometimes before but a lot of people have been nice and supportive on here. It's really about the other person, not you, if they are so easily critical like that.
And I think there's a lot of "negative posts" on here, and everyone can decide if they will read such threads or not, so it's stupid and unfair to try and blame you for it. I've responded to "negative threads" and I've had people respond to some of my "negative threads" too. I hope you'll feel better about this over time.
And yeah with your husband, it could be mental health issues, I was half joking. I think it's in general harder coping if you (general you) only have access to online relationships, that's just my experience and psychology says the same. It's just a lot more stressful mentally and emotionally too. So I hope you can find people IRL too over time, if you want to. I personally am really sick of online relationships stuff, I did it for too long at one time in my life. I don't mind these support places and stuff, because these are international forums and they have an actual purpose but otherwise if I can meet someone IRL in my city then I don't want to bother with having only an online relationship with the person. I find it's too unnatural and ungrounded and stuff for me. I really prefer doing fun activities together IRL, it just makes me feel more grounded in the whole relationship. I took a while to figure that out though : / I don't know if this is helpful.
I don't really get that drama either, right. Was she an online friend for 5 years or an IRL friend? Did she ever try and block you like that or do drama regularly? Was that guy like the love of her life? Did the guy say/do something to affect her judgment? I really don't think it was your fault if she did drama and blocking like that. People are responsible for ensuring they interact in a constructive way rather than the drama stuff.... And sometimes they manipulate others to create drama so your friend could have even been manipulated if it was out of character for her.
About your compliment, it sounds fine to me, but maybe due to his bad mood your husband read it as some insinuation/implying that you don't like his looks at other times.