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May 18, 2021, 07:34 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,079
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive99
He won't go to therapy and even if he did, don't expect him to change substantially in the next 10 years or so.
I don't know if I'd wish anyone well or assume such nice things like maybe they are going to therapy, if they had done enough terrible things.
In such a case my goal would only be, not be bitter and angry about the rest of the world. But stay angry about the terrible, immoral things committed, to keep up boundaries about such things in future. I don't mean the anger would have to be expressed (or if expressed it would have to be controlled enough), it's simply my own feeling inside, to protect me.
But that's me. Maybe you deal with these things differently. I agree, don't become bitter/angry about the whole world just because of him. To me, that's enough of a high road. Some people never get over their negativity from such experiences and will project them into other situations and people instead.
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I tend to agree with this probably only because I am still being messed up by the STUPID choices my now EX has made that are still screwing up my life financially & I have been divorced 3 years now though the marriage assets were never resolved in the still pending court case.
I actually had an interesting & civil conversation. With him 3 years ago when I was there for the court hearing. Civil but my concept of him making STUPID choices has never been changed only reinforced. You can be civil & still dislike their behavior & everything still reinforce that being outtake the marriage was a very WISE decision. Lol....I can be civil to people I don't even like & my EX is an example of that though before I left 14 years ago all I saw was literally RED when I had to deal with him.
It was kinda entertaining when I went back, I found out from him that in his arrogant mind when I left 14 years ago, he was sure I would come back to him in 2 years. Like he thought I was having a mid life crisis or something. He said when I didn't come back in 2 years he guessed he did have something to do with my leaving. Ya think!!!! Just proved that he really NEVER heard any of the things I said was wrong in the marriage & thought by magic the problems would disappear because we weren't together. Some people are fools & will be fools all their life...in his case, even with a PDOC & therapy.
It is nice to end things on a positive note but he is going to have a rude awakening still because of his poor choices & a contempt charge is nothing to be messed around with in his case. There comes a point where the consequences of his poor choices are going to smack him over the head & given all the crap I have dealt with, I feel no guilt in making it happen.....while I seriously love my life & the community I live in but he has tied my hands financially as long as I am willing to tolerate.
Be glad you never owned a house together.
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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