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Old May 18, 2021, 08:57 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
@~Christina I am not in a purely DBT program as I refused to do that. I am in a general adult psych PHP. However I am trying to keep an open mind because they do have some DBT courses as a part of the general curriculum.

I see met with my therapist and made a safety plan today. I meet the pdoc tomorrow and seriously not a moment too soon. I was a complete wreck today. I was depressed this morning BUT I woke up at 6:30am which is way earlier than I usually get up if I don’t have to be up for work. I was a little agitated by the noise, had to mute the group a couple of times but there’s no way to turn on captions so I have to turn it back on to make sure no ones talking to me.

So I was a bit agitated during DBT but I was able to be honest during process group about the fact that I self harmed yesterday. But when I realized the final group of the day was art???? Oh my god I can’t even explain what happened. I FLIPPED MY *****. I got completely consumed by rage. I mean I wanted to slash my computer screen. I have no idea why! I mean just because it was art therapy and I don’t like art therapy? That deserves rage?

And then during my safety plan meeting I was crying at every answer. And then, AND THEN, it just...went away??? Like now I’m totally happy and fine with life. I’m feeling very sped up but in a “good” way, not a stabby way. I took extra seroquel to hopefully fall asleep at some point tonight. I took 100mg which is the max recommended by another pdoc last summer when I wasn’t sleeping.

Damn I just hope tomorrow is at least one mood, whatever mood it lands on.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
Thanks for this!
Soupe du jour, ~Christina