So a couple of weeks ago I ended my contact with my counselor of two years. I don´t regret it as I acted from how I felt in our last meeting and from how I´ve felt almost from the beginning when seeing her.

But it´s still sad and today when something positive happened I for a second got the thought "I´ll tell my counselor next time" but instantly I of course remembered I won´t see her again.

Even if she acted the way she did I feel a little bit sorry for her, not much but still. It´s not that I plan to call her or anything, it´s just in my thoughts. I don´t miss her as I did with my counselor in church who left me in 2019. But not everything was bad with this last counselor and by that I miss parts of our time together.

I hadn´t want to stay with her just to be prepared to be suddenly cut off from the facility, it had been much worse to see her not knowing if next session will be the one when she tells me they have decided I won´t be a patient at their facility any longer. I much rather get that message by letter or by phone as they won´t be able to make anything better.

It though hurts it all ended in this abrupt way and I think my counselor should have acted differently, already when I brought up things I was disappointed about. She never did that, I assume she just got irritated even if she didn´t show that much irritation directly towards me.

Even if I knew it wouldn´t be likely that my counselor would contact me after I cancelled my session and told her I don´t want to see her anymore I still had some little hope that she´d just send me a little text or something. It´s all so sad.

I really wonders what she thinks, perhaps she just forgets about me or think negatively about me.