Ruby, you really need to have a job coach with you to help with your inappropriate interactions with coworkers. Telling others that you are hurting, needing to nurse your wounds and recuperate because someone who no longer works there didn't interact with you (due to your previous inappropriate behavior) is really not okay. To put it bluntly, it is creepy and turns people off.

You are still minimizing your behavior with others by describing it as "looking up to" other people. You become fixated with 1 person and start requesting to work with them, tell them you miss them when you aren't working, etc. It makes people uncomfortable and it is not okay to speak like this to people you work with, especially when you have your past history.

Please speak to your therapist about this continued problem.