((((((((((((((Razzleberry)))))))))))))

Can you try counselling? Even for yourself? Maybe it would help you decide if the relationship is right for you? Maybe it could show you how to ask the questions it seems you need the answers to?

My heart breaks for you, as I am going through a similar situation and know how hard an uncertain future is. When I got married, I believed I had found my soulmate, and that we would grow old and die together. To know now that it may not (probably won't) be possible is tearing me apart.

I wish you lots of love...from inside and out!