I am just going to state it: doctors are magicians. There are so many things/areas of which they have totally changed me. I'm just going to pick a few, and let it all be known how happy I am for them. They are wonderful just to behold and know.

1. I feel like I am beautiful now. I otherwise would think that I am on the lowest level of attractiveness. It was a complex growing up that I was just grotesque and on the lowest tier of any ranking of physicality. I am alright with my body. I hardly know how I ever even came up with this thing. It being so worked up in my mentality, I could hardly function without a "Please don't look at me" attitude. I was just shaming myself because I obviously had not the body anyone would want. And my face. It all sort of faded away, and I am comfortable.

2. I have a game of being worked up about music. Of course, I am not skilled at it because of the fact I didn't study it. But I actually love this stuff. I try to manipulate the situation of the voices/imagined people things and try to work around it because of the music. Before it was just on to have background noise.

3. I feel like I have my friends and family in my back pocket and I want to celebrate them. Don't know how to get worked up.

4. I want to chat, I just cannot seem to find a thing to say that is worth saying. Maybe they can tell me that anything is worth saying even if no one remembers it.

5. I feel like having feelings is one step away. A real one. A real feeling of love for one person or the other is right around the corner.

6. I feel like I'm not pushing the weight of the past down. It's just ending up being forgotten and I am comfortable with this. I am not bothered by the past that much. I can feel it slipping away from me.