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Originally Posted by Bill3
To me, mindfulness here does have something to observe: the state of blockedness, the shutdown itself. A mindful approach would be to accept that at this moment, I am completely blocked, nonfunctional: let me sit with that, look at it carefully, try see what it is all about, have a "curious scientist" mentality about it, see if it changes at all, even in a tiny way, day to day. Accept and examine.
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There is one issue with just accepting it as is, and that is that it gets in the way of earning a living, and being functional at all. I don't know if anyone can accept that easily.
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To me, this is sort of a non-mindfulness approach. Your mind is saying "You can't have access to these right now", and you are saying "But that's what I want, I am going to try to figure out a way in anyways."
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I don't know what I posted that sounded like this. I don't believe that "I'm going to try to figure out a way in anyways". I'm far too skeptical for that. Instead, what I do *want* is, I just want to be functional and live my life again like I used to.
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A mindful approach, I think, would be to accept that the emotions are not available atm and be mindful of whatever is available...maybe a rigidity, a tightness, an unyieldingness, idk, maybe even a sense of self-judgment or helplessness perhaps?:
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That's the thing, I don't know if anything's available, it's a vague shutdown is all I know about. Or stonewall.
A therapist did even call it a wall...that she can't get through to me.
The "atm" is a bit long to call it "atm".
It's long hours every day and has been so for years. It makes it harder to just accept, too.
(Also tbh I'm going to modify my question I had earlier.... how to go from detachment to the anger phase.....or just to have vitality, energy again. It's more like, how to go to that phase without it taking long hours and then it hurting my muscles, and making them sore, lolol)
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In short: if one wants to explore mindfulness-based approaches, there is always something one can be mindful of.
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Yeah, I just don't know if you can just relax mindfully about the issue like I described it above.
I don't know if even a yogi can do that.
Maybe if they are fed anyway without having to earn a living etc. Maybe if they are okay with not being able to function at all.....having lost their old self and everything.
That really is hard to accept.
(And somehow I can't use even that CBT approach I mentioned for other issues above)
Thanks for letting me write this out.
I won't go off topic again though.