In my experience, it's not really a 'finally' thing...it's a process.

Once you've built a level of safety with the person you're working with, you might be able to let your walls down slightly, but they won't stay down. My counsellor and I talk about it in terms of a filter that I am learning to control. When I am in session (virtually at the moment, but hopefully physically again at some point) she reminds me to turn the filter down or off as necessary.

Rightly or wrongly, I have internalised the idea that 'therapy is the space where feelings happen', and struggle if they pop up anywhere else.


All I can offer is be open to it maybe taking longer than you would like to express emotion in front of your therapist, and ask them for help. They'll have seen this before, I am certain.