Quote:
Originally Posted by intheblood
Thanks, you've given me a lot to think about. There's context I'm leaving out but you're right, the push-pull has gone on for too long. It's the worst part of BPD for me, I can't seem to stop splitting on him.
I have been clear in the past about wanting to continue therapy with him. The freak-out after him saying we couldn't move on together stems from this being the fourth time he's suddenly said he wouldn't see me anymore.
He's says he wants to start fresh and rebuild trust but I don't know how to do that and not be scared something else will upset him enough to say we're done again.
I understand it isn't ethichal to keep a client who is in a stuck place, but he keeps saying no matter what he will continue to see me. And then the opposite happens.
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Great, tell him that (cf. what I bolded above)
In your discussion, you can calmly tell him what you just said above: that you
do want to continue with him, you
do want to rebuild trust though you are not sure how BUT that this is what you want to work on, with him... Tell him that if/when you freak out, you need [reassurance? show he cares? for him to stick by you? him to help you work it out? something else?] from him but not for him to refer you out.
But if you (both) keep hitting the same roadblock or the same pattern (i.e. push-pull) over and over again, then maybe it would be best to seek someone else. For your own goals.