I know you started this thread saying you are frustrated and lonely.
I can relate in some ways but have mostly just gotten used to it. For whatever reason, I sort of "ran away" from my family when I graduated from high school which resulted in me having always been far from my FOO. First, I went to Germany for the summer, then the university farthest from my home (five hours away) then active duty military including spending nearly five years overseas and then the opposite coast. And I don't always write and call as much as I should. So I am sure my family has felt some of the frustrations you are expressing. And my core family is divided too. I think I contributed by not always showing enough respect for my husband. And all of our personality issues were probably at play too--I am not wholly at fault but I am not innocent either. I am trying to do better but the damage is done. I look at it this way--it took years to become divided so I can't fix it over night--actually, I do not have the power to fix it, only love them all and pray a lot. IMO divisions in families and our country will not heal overnight but we can try to promote harmony and love whenever we can. IMO sometimes it is human nature to compare ourselves to others but not always very helpful. IMO humans are always looking for patterns to navigate and understand our world. Not that I haven't thought it or done it but have to be careful about judging and complaining--not that there aren't some injustices that we should complain about, it is just that some of the complaining that goes on can be unhelpful. It can be tricky to know when to get help, when to give help and when to not help and do it all graciously. And as you have said, we have to start with our own family. If my family is not well, then it is harder for me to be well enough to help "the world"--plus problems at home make us feel less secure and confident. --Or is it when we are less secure and confident that that causes the other?