Hey anna342,

I feel with you. This must have been very disappointing and frustrating, since you definitely need to meet your P. But please do not let your bad feelings overwhelm you. Things like that happen incidentally, and you know that is nobody's fault or intention.

There is no reason at all to feel worthless or even more worthless than usual. Your P wants to bring you up, not down, and I am sure she feels really sorry for missing you.

You feel like you are going to snap. Your emotions are loose right now, and they are running wild. This is in a way completely normal! You need help and comfort right now, you need it urgently, and so your feelings are urgent.

But you are NOT what you feel! Feelings come and go again - always. Even the terribly painful ones. Help and relief will come. And then your feelings will soften and calm down again.

Let them run. Let them come and say to them: Hi, I acknowledge you, I got your message, I accept you are here now, be my guest if you like, and farewell when the time comes. You are the master, not your "guests". Watch your visitors, be kind. They will leave as soon as they are sure that their message has been understood. They don't want anything else but being heard once.

It is like a deep ocean: On the surface may be a big storm, but a little deeper there is calmness and safety, and one can stay there watching the big waves above come and go and rage like mad, until the storm is over.

You are not worthless at all, take this simply and basically for granted!

Hugs,
bluna