Lovethesun, this is a complex situation but very common. Have not experienced directly but hope I can shed some light on this behaviour.

Firstly, do not feel guilty for voicing your opinion. The one time my mother did, after it was assumed she would just accept her father-in-law visiting every Sunday. What did my stepfather do? Took off and spent the day at his father's house, even taking him out for lunch. All she wanted was a break of routine. Father-in-law was a lovely man, always appreciative of meals, company, etc.

A late family friend's mother made it her life's work to ensure he never married. She was a single parent and thought he owed her for the difficult life she'd had. He had his own house, went on foreign holidays to escape her clutches. Unfortunately, she was taken ill so he had her to stay to recover. Complained to us that he couldn't get rid of her. Okay, she didn't want to be ill but she was able to execute her plan easily.

It may seem harsh but you didn't marry your mother-in-law. She's finding it difficult to relinquish control and unfortunately, your husband is caught between his life with you and "doing his duty".

Stay strong!