As I start each day with a rush of anxiety as soon as I open my eyes, I still hope for a better day. I am still unable to gain the physical, emotional and mental strength necessary to carry on each day and be productive. I am in so much pain and have so much uncertainty. Why do I suffer each day while he is, as he says, Very Happy? I didn't do anything wrong. I saved his life and then he decided to spend the rest of it with someone else, who is almost young enough to be his daughter. He has everything and someone and I have nothing and no one. The pain runs deep.