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WOW! I commend you on finding ways to deal without medications. I have tried, but I am also Bipolar so I need the meds to stabilize me.
You have been through alot and I thank you for sharing with us. I think you are brave for letting it out as you have stated you haven't even told your wife!
I sure hope we can help you here, if you need it.
*hugs*
BJ
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"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." 
Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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