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May 25, 2021, 12:38 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
To the mods: This has nothing to do with anyone on PC.
Sometimes, the matter that has to be with human relations is so hard. Even when you might talk with another person and you both could have the same good intentions to fix things up, there are so many factors that play a role. We are all so unique and have experienced the same situation in such a different way that it takes a world to even get positions a little closer.
The hurt pride, the affronts, feelings...could lead us to a point in which even empathic people may find difficult to even take into account that the other person is not wrong or want to damage you or have bad intentions or (s)he is like this or that but that (s)he is only having a different understanding of the same facts.
I want to break this circle. I want to be unattached of my pride, my Ego, my remorse towards some people very close to me. I want to consider their point of view so much that it makes me possible to get out of myself and see things through their eyes.
I think that if there’s someone who can change things, we have to begin to make changes ourselves in the first place.
I don’t know. How do you see it? Am I being very naive?
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Hi Azul, I really do agree with you. I think people often read into things, especially online, context or tone that is not there. They come into things with a preconceived notion, and if they don't hear what they expect to hear, they have a hard time discerning what it is they actually heard as anything other than negative. In my recovery from trauma journey I experienced this as well, and it took some time to really slow my responses and read/listen to what the other person was saying and take it on face value.
When we read into things and don't simply take it as face value, we are either trying to mind read or put words in people's mouths. There's a saying "what other people think of me is none of my business." ANd I once had a client apologize because she sends very short messages and she didn't want me to think she was mad. My response was that I expect her to tell me if she's mad, and I'm not going to waste time reading into a quick message. She really liked that response and appreciated it.
I think we spend too much time assuming what someone else meant instead of just talking it out calmly to understand their viewpoint.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.
Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien
Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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