I think, for some of us, real, deep, profound therapy can't happen without at least some attachment. If you want to frame it as a negative thing and call it transference, that's okay, but I don't think it needs to be negative unless it interferes with, or gets in the way of, the relationship between you and the therapist.

Don't spend any time beating yourself up for having feelings that you cannot control. It's wasted energy! You can only control what you do when those feelings arise. If you want to see them come around less often, the best thing to do is simply acknowledge that they're there, and let them be. Accept their right to exist, but don't feed them by worrying about them or wishing they'd go away or trying to think of opposite feelings or doing anything, really.

This is part of what's called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. Maybe you'd find it helpful; maybe not. It helped me not to worry so much when I was terrified of how attached I had become to my therapist. (It helped with other things, too, but that's what is relevant to your topic.)

Anyway, you are definitely not alone in this!

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