"I think we spend too much time assuming what someone else meant instead of just talking it out calmly to understand their viewpoint".

Seesaw, great comment! A former work colleague had a good way to explain the perils of assumption. "Assume - makes an *** of u and me". How true!

Who we are isn't always because of how we were brought up, although it can be a large contributing factor. There are plenty of other influences on our personalities, actions, beliefs. Often it's assumed (that word again) by family members that we will be exactly as they are in behaviour, ego, self esteem, negative outlook. Described as family traits. The positive ones are good to have, the negative can either be accepted or rejected. Alas, sometimes just calmly discussing another's viewpoint doesn't give positive results.

As we become adults, we often question unacceptable behaviours especially if they emanate from family, partner or a good friend. We may then have to make a difficult decision on which path to take. We are individuals, everyone else is taken.

I don't know why there are three *** in the above explanation of assume. It's meant to describe an animal similar to a donkey, often portrayed as being stupid.