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Waterbear
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: England
Posts: 2,408
8 yr Member
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Default May 28, 2021 at 06:10 PM
 
I am so sorry you are finding it really difficult. I am not sure that I have any answers, only that I am right there with you, and it sucks, and I wish things would be better for you. I do however have hope. I have been in private counselling for 5 years now, and I am glad you are private too because I don't think the NHS is very well equipped to deal with complex trauma. It is more of an 'in and out' service with quick turnarounds and very surface level help (or at least that's my opinion). At least with private you dictate what you need. The fact that you recognise the abuse and neglect is an enormous start! It took me three years to get to that point, so you are well on our way to recovery I would say. Now I have accepted it I am at the same stage as you, daily triggers and memories. The more I work on it the worse it gets, which leads me to question why I am doing this, but I have seen first hand that through therapy the seemingly impossible can become possible. (I am now divorced and in a happy relationship after NEVER EVER thinking I would be able to leave my ex husband) So from that experience comes hope, and I hope that I can pass some of that on to you.

I don't know your situation, or your struggles, so can't really help much more than to wish you well, I don't think. Take care of yourself. Big hugs if you want them.
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Thanks for this!
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