My stepchildren’s mother would do such a thing to them. She’d come up with illnesses and crisis to stop them from what they are doing and cater to her. She went as far as lie to my stepdaughter that she is dying and is terminal and needs to say her last good byes. My stepdaughter flew on the other side of the country to find out that no one was dying. There other countless emergencies and that’s since I came to the picture in their adulthood. It was the same for them growing up. It caused constant anxiety as they could never plan anything

And yes she was diagnosed with BPD and had some other issues but she refused professional help for many reasons, she was on some meds on and off but never consistently.

I am sorry your daughter struggles like this because it’s a struggle for them, not just for others, but the only way is consistently seeing a professional and be up front and honest with a therapist and psychiatrist. But that’s out of your control