I also wonder how it will be like not to take meds, but I'm too scared. Suicidal thoughts and long periods of no energy are the worst, so I really don't want to fall into that kind of depression ever again. On the other end, my impulsivity due to hypomania might get worse. I think I am impulsive by nature, but it gets much worse when I'm hypomanic. If getting off meds would aggravate both ends, it won't be worth it for me. I'm self-employed and don't have a private health insurance. I pay for the national health insurance in my country, but it definitely doesn't cover mental illnesses. With my current employment status, I don't even want to think about missing a month.