Quote:
Originally Posted by alpacalicious
I went there searching bc i dont know im not feeling strong love but at the same time i like him when together, i want to kiss and cuddle and explore his life and interests, im curious about him. I get jealous from time to time, I worry when he doesnt reply soon. I dont treat him as the same level of friends or family members. He treats me right and with respect. I never cried over him like my exes.
I feel more like this:  
than this: 
Yet, I feel like im the culprit here. Bc i dont feel strong love. Affection, yes. Keep in mind that i have BPD, so me not feeling love could be because of that?
Here's our story together:
in august we will be 1 year together. I am 26, he is 27.
1) we met on dating app, we had a lot in common, mind blowing we had evertthing in common even we liked the same color or small things and sincronicities! we liked texting to each other, after 2 days we met.
I was the first that asked to meet, then during that evening he asked me to have a relationship. I didnt feel initial chemistry and when i saw him at first I felt like in my mind I imagined him different (different aspect for ex.) and I felt let down. End of that evening I said yes and we kissed but i didnt feel anything. But Im demisexual, keep this in mind, maybe it is important.
2)honeymoon phase: I dont feel this, i like him and feel affection and interest but i dont feel intense love. there are no reasons, he is not causing that.
3)no issues or even arguments between us. but we only see once a week bc of his job, and i want to see him more than that.
4) no arguments really, maybe a few at the start bc of my trust issues ( i got played by a guy that wanted a friends with benefits situation so i told my partner over and over that i didnt want a Fwb story,) but we both handled them well. But keep in mind, we only see once a week so....its easy not to fight. No fights. No arguments.
5) there are no issues. i want to see him more but its my fault bc i never said that to him. so he thinks im ok with that. I need to say this to him. I dont want to be seen as clingy. |
Hey. Sounds like you have strong affection for your boyfriend but no passionate, intense romantic chemistry or "manic, magic" happiness. Love is defined as deep affection and attachment so I would say that based on your words you do feel love for him but it's more the long-term kind of love maybe. Also, maybe he has no idea you'd like to be with him more often, and maybe that's why he doesn't ask to spend more time together. Or maybe he really is just waiting for you to openly want to spend more time with him. Who knows. You definitely should let him know though that you'd love to see him more often.
PS: I personally have no idea if we should feel the
kind of passionate love. I have no idea if it can ever last longer than a few months or a year or whatever it does for most people. Some people claim it can last much longer. I don't know the trick to that.