I’m sorry for sharing bad news. Maybe, today I feel more open to talk about what I’m going through or maybe I need to put a little bit out in an attempt to find some kind of relief.

It’s been already a long time since I’m feeling pretty hopeless and depressed. It all began since the lockdown my country suffered because of the pandemic in the Spring of last year, 2020.
I don’t blame it to the pandemic. I already went through phases of depression and a deep lack of self-confidence in the past. So, I think it was only one more element that played a role.

The thing is that it seems that this time I’m not being able to find some kind of recovery. I feel lost and stuck with both, depression and social anxiety. Social anxiety and depression. They both feed each other.
I put this thread here in the social anxiety forum because I’m mainly a social phobic. Since any step I try or have to make, implies to deal with this bad company that is: Fear, insecurity, lack of confidence, risk, inadequacy, risk for criticism, risk to feel embarrassed, etc.
This is one of these periods when I’m feeling so low that social anxiety is beating me so strongly that this time I’m not even trying to survive but even worst, pretty much crawling.

My lack of energy and the deep insecurity makes me avoid, delay, even daily tasks as cooking. Not mention others not so daily task as driving my new car, or speaking with a friend on the phone (or simply answer to a phone call), go to a clothes store to buy a dress, etc. There are so many.

I don’t even have motive for this. All around me is perfect. My family (included my partner and doggies), my friends, my neighbours, people here. They are all perfect. I can’t ask for more.

I’m aware that my thread is a little dirt tricky on my part because I know that you will feel concerned and sympathetic while feeling that you can’t do. Noone can’t do anything to help me.