Saw T today and finally opened up and was 100% honest about about SI. She wasn't aware that it was occuring. I told her about how much my SI has changed since it started. I used to average at most anywhere from 25-80 marks a night. Now if I give in, I leave maybe 5-7 at most....not even 2 a month usually.

She looked through my file and saw my no suicide contract. ASked if it was a suicidal action. I said no.....well, duh. Its a survival action anyway. After story time, she asked when that last time was. I admitted it was last night.

I was asked to write and sign a no Self harm contract, which I did.....with much discomfort.

I was so proud of myself for FINALLY being 100% honest about it on my own accord and how much better I am doing, compared to when I started SI. I texted my best friend's g/f to tell her how well I'd done. She said she didn't wanna hear about. It was for attention and I should get help like shed already said.


Weeeeeelll I am getting help and I don't need her approval. Gah. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be 'ok'...especially in the eyes of others.