I went through something very similar with my husband, and it is cheating as far as I am concerned. You do not sneak off with someone of the opposite sex, away from your mate, like some little lovesick 8th grader, to share secrets and complain about your sex life, your spouse, etc. Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, period!! People can control themselves!! If you need someone to talk to, email me. There are wedding vows, and I believe there is a reason for that!!