I forgot to send him my evening message of good evening last night. And, he wrote me saying he missed me. He is sweet at times. Oh well. So, I am so tired today that I'm happy to be alone again. I have not heard yet if he is staying here or not. I wish him well in any case. We will still be seeing each other if he stays. I like him although he is flawed in character.

Sometimes, he says things that are insensitive about others. So, the more I spend time with him, I am realizing his insensitive comments. I don't know why he says them. I try not to be as callous. He may have had an easy life where he has not suffered at all. I think this may be the case. However, my brother is also insensitive and had a hard life. May be some people can't see themselves in other people's situations. I don't know. I was miffed about his comment about my low income. But, it is true sadly. I want to earn more but have not put the time into doing so. I will try to do so. I will never make as much as he does but should be motivated to earn more than I do now. I will try. Also, he says he is treating me out to dinner next time. This is nice of him. I did not ask him but he offered. So, I'm hoping we still see each other. I am learning from him about how he sees things. I think he likes me despite his insensitive comments. I like him to some extent.

He is not bad looking and in relatively good shape. So, this helps. He says I am sweet, nice, giving, and sexy. Whatever! He told me to not allow others to abuse me anymore which is easier said than done. So, we are waiting on whether he will stay or not. If he stays, we will still see each other. If not, I will wish him well. For me, I don't want to date another person for awhile. I had good times with him so want to cherish these memories for awhile. Also, I am not sure I will find someone who does not abuse me again. So, I have to be careful. He was not that bad so I'm happy to some extent.

I wish I had more energy. I did make him dinner this week and breakfast again. It was wonderful. He likes my cooking. Lol, at least someone likes my cooking! I don't know if he likes me because I cook or because I'm nice to him. May be, he likes me because I'm sweet, nice, giving, and sexy. What a laugh!! He does say things that boost my ego. Very smart of him!

I think I do like him to some extent so hope he can stay. It is nice to spend some time with another. Being all alone is not healthy for me. I now am cooking, cleaning, and caring about my appearance more while making sure I take my medication and am healthy. Also, he is busy as a manager so seeing him once a week is sufficient. Before, he was seeing me twice a week. He may request this again. I will have to think about it if he does.

So, I do like him somewhat. He is much better than any other man I have dated which may not mean much since most men were abusive to me. He is not perfect and neither am I. I am not expecting him to change his ways for me and don't expect myself to change for him. I accept him as he is- flaws and all. I feel more focused now because of him. I am focused on my work and life now. So, some good has come out of being with him.

Life is not bad. And, it is improving with time. No matter what happens between him and me, I will be ok. I have not seen my family in two years though. I don't know when I will see them again given the situation. I have to admit I do get lonely at times. I think this man fills my void of being lonely for now. I don't see other people. It is quite isolating for me. I have work but it is remote. I will be ok if I don't see people but it gets lonely. I am happy to some extent that I can be with this man and entertain him for now. I am hoping when the situation improves, I will go out more on my own. I want to do meet ups and other social activities hopefully.