I can sympathize with you. There was a time when I really enjoyed writing music, fiction, & I dabbled in painting. Since maxing out on mood stabilizers, the muse has left me altogether...or perhaps I'm just blaming the psych meds. Yesterday, however, I shared that the neurologist told me the peripheral neuropathy I have is irreversable, & was likely caused by taking psych meds for so many years. The meds are, indeed, poison, but the thought of being locked down in a hospital again aren't inviting, either. We're stuck between the devil & the deep blue sea...