So Sorry you're struggling! Please do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about considering your own environment as well. i can relate a bit to what you're saying i think. Unfortunately i don't have a lot of advice myself. Just try to take small steps for self-improvement perhaps. Eat regularly, shower regularly. Do all the things that can make you feel a little bit better and do whatever may improve your mood even just slightly. i think our routines can affect your mental health as well. Just try to practice self-care in any way you can and Hopefully your therapisat will be able to Help when you're able to see him/her. Do you have a Support system in real Life? That can be Useful. Please do try your best and keep us updated if you cana nd want to. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Whereto52, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!