My personal experience is that when my present life is going well and I think I might have a decent future, past events bother me less. But when things are bad, I think that if I survived my childhood only to live in horrible conditions, I wish I had died before making all that effort to improve my life. I often think of the time my sister shoved me downstairs from the second floor to the first floor of our apartment building and thought it might have been better if I had died back then.

The reason for this is because my current problems are caused by a sister that I failed to sever ties with, so when they do bad things I see the root of the problem in things my parents did to turn my older sibling into a violent narcissist. So your issue may affect you differently depending on how you see your present being connected to yoiur past.

With memories about getting hit or nearly killed by members of my family, I am less upset than I used to be. The verbal abuse actually gets to me more than the physical and sometimes memories from 30+ years ago will really make me angry about them putting derogatory labels on me or blaming me for things they did themselves.

My life is at an extremely low point so I don't have conviction that it gets better for everyone. But you sound quite young so maybe if you make better decisions than I did, you can get a better life and you can think of your past as an unpleasnt landscape you had to cross to get to where you need to be. My fatal mistake was not going no contact with my entire family. So if you have similar family issues, your best chance is to get out if you can and don't let them near anything in your life.