@Buffy01 wow, I can't believe you found this old post. I was having a bad day today because I had to change my plans to clean up a really bad mess due to my sister. It's the kind of mess that can make people sick so I don't really have a choice but I'm angry about it.

I agree that it helps to think of her up behavior as a mental condition, though I still get frustrated that I have to deal with the unacceptable. What makes me mad is that more than one member of my family seem to have mental issues, but they always say I have mental problems because I get angry when they yell at me. My sister would hit and kick me well into her 20s and then she'd feel like a victim because I made her feel like a bad person when she attacked me. Same thing with my stepfather. He would yell at me or hit me and then tell people I bullied him because I got mad and both my sister and stepfather tell people I have mental problems. It's sad that they are mentally ill, but unfair that they project their issues on me.

It's cool that you are studying your family tree. I sometimes analyze mine for patterns. Though it seems to me a lot of the behavioral issues are learned behaviors passed down from a parent or guardian. My older sister actually copies the behaviors of our aunts and stepfather without realizing it even though she hates them. It's as if she can only do what she has seen other people do. So it's hard to be sure of heredity. With the stepfather it's definitely environmental influence though both she and our stepfather act like they have adhd. She could have gotten it from our biological father because my mom's type were always men with the same behavioral problems.

Thanks for your comment. It gave me something to think about.