My two cents.

The first time I heard the word 'toxic' as applied to relationships instead of chemicals was when Oprah pushed it out into the mainstream. At the time, I didn't hear it applied to people though perhaps it was, only relationships. So I've never used the term in regard to people. If someone is unhealthy for me, I remove them from my life.

I also want to point out that there are extremely dangerous people that no label can accurately describe. These are the ones who everyone says is just the nicest, most wonderful person who would never hurt anyone. Behind closed doors the mask comes off and the monster is revealed to their chosen victim. My own mother is the most violent person I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. It has taken decades of meds and therapy, years of EMDR sessions, and multiple trips IP.

I don't know, nor do I care why she is the way she is. The fact is, violence is always a choice. For what it's worth, I don't hate her. Like love, hate requires passion. I'm just indifferent. I don't see nor communicate in any way with her and she being elderly now, I won't be attending her funeral.