Big trigger warning for suicide.

I’m having thoughts lately and really feeling like I’m just not meant to be here. It’s scary because it’s not that I think the world is so bad, it’s just that I am and I fail at everything I try. I wish I could talk to my T about this but I’m nervous because I’ve brought up suicidal ideation in the past and we either move on from it really quickly or try to distract. It’s a little bit like it’s not taken seriously which just makes me not want to bring it up at all. Not sure how to make it seem serious or “real”. Especially because I struggle to connect to my emotions while talking so I might not cry or show emotion while talking about it.

If you had a positive experience bringing it up, what did you do or say?