i've stayed away from this thread for the most part because the topic can be very triggering for me, but i want to say this.

IG, i think you're a fine looking man. you wouldn't stand out in any crowd and to me that's a good thing. were you put down alot growing up? made fun of, etc? these things are hard to get past...some ppl never do.

sometimes i get really scared if someone goes on about my looks in a good way...i think they're making fun of me or just being "kind". i think the same might be for you? i grew up hearing how ugly, fat, weird, sickening and how much of a freak i was. it's hard to get past hearing those things day in and day out. it's much more "safe" to believe the bad stuff...believing the good stuff would 1) be an open for more fun-making 2) make me too vulnerable to be shot down and that hurts too bad...so i stay in my ugly comfort zone...no expectations or heartbreak there.

i've learned to say "thank you" when someone comments about my looks in a good way, but it's dismissed quickly inside.

i do know this...when i quit bringing attn to myself by commenting on my looks negatively, etc. and generally putting myself down all of the time, i had more friends. often ppl will believe about us what we tell them, especially if we tell them that long enuf. ppl don't like "downers" as friends and mates. they want to be around ppl who feel good and make them feel good. moods and feelings "rub off" when in close relationships or friendships. i've found that out by alot of error.

i wish for you so much, but mostly i wish that you could acknowledge that there are alot of ppl out there who will like you when you're ready to like yourself and show it. well, from my experience it was that way. i even ended up losing weight, then genuinely feeling better about myself. it's like when faking a smile for a baby, after so long a person starts to "feel" that smile and aren't faking anymore...it can work. i'm proof.

gl and good wishes,