I am sorry if this is hijacking your thread, Scarlet, but I want to say that I am also finding some of these comments useful in terms of my own ruptured relationship with my therapist (which I might start a separate thread about). The idea of going slow; accepting that our present responses are anachronistic responses to previous pain; knowing that this will pass are all useful reminders for me.

Something I struggle with is knowing the difference between my meaningfully working through the rupture to lead to increased trust in her/understanding of how I relate to others versus me burying my pain and not holding her (or me) accountable because I avoid feelings and have an unhealthy ability to tolerate toxic relationships. What's the balance?

Sorry again for the derailment Scarlet. Maybe you experience a similar confusion? Or maybe you are clear about when it is healthy for you to "go back to how it was"?