I agree. It could make you lose a bit of trust in her. It could change your image of her and your relationship. It could ultimately make the relationship stronger. And it could be all three at once.

I used to hate when my T would say how working through ruptures makes relationships stronger. Because if he said it in the middle of the rupture, it felt sort of like a copout. There I was in pain, doubting whether I can trust him, and he's acting like this is ultimately a good thing? But now, while I'm not in rupture/repair mode, I can look back and see that I have gained more trust in the strength of our relationship. Like, "OK, we worked through that, we can work through this." And, "He's not just going to drop/terminate/tighten the boundaries because of a conflict or because I express hurt or anger toward him."

And it can also help me to look at outside relationships that way, too--I had a conflict with my H or my friend, but we've had other conflicts and gotten through it. Now, there are people in my past to whom that does *not* apply, but those relationships clearly were not strong enough and/or we weren't both dedicated to maintaining them. In your case, Scarlet, I think you have a strong relationship with L, and you're both dedicated to maintaining it.