Quote:
Originally Posted by indigo1015
I'm beginning to feel that finding love is a pipe dream for me-- I've seen this guy a few times and he's okay, but I feel like he's stringing me along. He doesn't want to commit yet, which I totally understand, but he's not being terribly attentive or communicative. I don't think he's equipped to have a healthy relationship. I just went on a date with a guy today-- he's really smart and funny, but frankly, he doesn't really appeal to me or turn me on. I know that's a horrible thing to say, and of course I'm not perfect and gorgeous either. But if I don't feel anything for him, I don't. And he's bugging the crap out of me with all his texts now. Sometimes I think I'm looking in the wrong places, but I also worry that there isn't anyone out there who's right for me. What I'm looking for is a long-term relationship with a guy I can learn from, have great experiences with, grow with, have amazing sex with, and who I can trust. But I'm 35 years old, and it's tough to find guys in your thirties because you're more set in your ways and have a better sense of who you are and what you want in lift than people usually do in their twenties. I'm on a dating website, but frankly it's not going very well. I'm either too conservative or too liberal for the guys on there, and even if I'm not, it's tough finding a guy who is willing to potentially move further west, which is what I hope to do. That's more understandable than the political aspect, because a lot of the guys I date from there already have kids from previous marriages and jobs here in Denver, and I don't want to separate anyone from their family or job. Maybe I should just give up and go back to fwb relationships.
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Hey. I understand you. I'm not really younger than you either, so.... I would say I used to run into a lot of emotionally unavailable guys for some reason. But I think I've sorted out a lot of that over the years. I've become more clear on what's realistic to expect in that area, what it is I'm really looking for, how to accept the less than perfect, etc. This is still work in progress but yeah. I feel better about all this now. I think it's possible for you too to feel better about this topic. I really was bad with it.
And where you mention that it's harder in your thirties because of being more set in your ways and have a better sense of who you are and what you want in life. I don't really see how that makes it harder to find a good relationship? It all just sounds like to me like it's a good foundation actually for a good relationship. It's absolutely great if you know who you are and what you want in life. A relationship isn't about being swayed by the partner about these things, it's about finding your match. Maybe I just misunderstood what you had in mind, let me know.