Found out I likely have CPTSD and not bipolar which explains so much.

Doesn't it feel like endless suffering?

I am afraid of depending too much on other people, one person in particular, while also being so afraid of them going away. It's pain all the time.

I try to do my work - which is my passion. Had to quit day job. I have a bag packed in case of hospitalization. I'm afraid of hurting myself everyday but I can't have that person there for me every second or ask them to do that.