I am sorry you have gone through all of that. Transference and unmet childhood needs can be so painful. Something that helped me was reading books about transference to better understand it, are you interested in reading?

I was very retraumatized by therapy. I had a therapist that I loved very much and had intense maternal transference with. I had/have so many unmet childhood needs. All of this was talked about in my therapy with her. She decided to create a dual role where she inserted herself in my life as a "mom". She said we were family and did lots of things someone in that role would do. Long story short, she went on leave and disappeared in the personal role as well and now I feel some of my childhood trauma (that I had before all this) has been reopened and my PTSD is worse than ever. The grief over loosing this "therapist" has been horrific and there are still nights I cry to the point of almost making myself sick because I miss what I had so badly. I now need therapy to deal with therapy. But I am slowly healing with a better therapist who has healthy boundaries.