So according to @sarahsweets definition, I am also toxic because I've been in an abusive marriage with a partner who has been manipulative, and since I have had multiple abusive partners before him? That's not right at all.

According to Psychology Today:

“Toxic” is obviously not a formal psychological term but rather is descriptive of how people often feel when dealing with certain individuals. Toxic describes interactions where boundaries are often blurred, where individuals themselves and/or their behaviors are felt to be difficult, challenging, demanding, often adversarial. Toxic relationships are not fueled by mutual care and support but are often skewed to accommodate an individual’s needs and demands.

If we're going to continue to use the term, let's at least get the definition correct.

My husband has been the toxic one in this relationship, not myself. He has been difficult, challenging, demanding and adversarial, not me. So, I am not myself toxic - he has been toxic to me. Now wer'e in counseling and we're trying to resolve this and make the relationship healthier together. There's nothing toxic about that.