Quote:
Originally Posted by Innerzone
Fell way behind here.... many hugs.
Today, work was brutal. The boss (hereafter referred to as B) was really being a jerk to me. Even the coworker who isn't always exactly nice to me exclaimed how brutal it was (after B left). She said she wanted to say something, but didn't want to make it worse. I thought the same. I am so appreciative of her support over this, that I am letting go of all her not nice times towards me.
I cried when I was there alone around lunchtime. I know it's not me, but D**** it's hard not to take personally when you keep getting singled out for abuse. But today, wow. Basically, I had persevered through a difficult project, and I was (just to myself) quite proud of myself for it. B lit into small imperfections, tearing into it to re-do my work, while making like I was crazy and incompetent for some issues I had to work around. It became pretty clear that B was running into these "imaginary" things in (needlessly) re-doing the project (which B was clearly furious about). And it turned out notably worse. Really glaring stuff. But relent? Apologize? No. More like snarking at me for not mind reading. Choosing the "wrong" priority at any given minute (as in being set up for whatever choice I made being the "wrong" one). Etc. and so on. And on. Talk about walking on eggshells. It was absolutely awful. It just went on and on.
BF can't believe I don't speak up for myself. But I'm not sure it's worth it. More to the point, that it would change anything. It seems to be my role there to be to blame for everything.
I'd be interested if anyone has thoughts on it though.
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I am so sorry, I know exactly how this feels and how toxic working somewhere like that is and how hard it is to find something else, and you need to work so you just endure. But it takes so much out of you. And then, it's hard to leave all that at the door when you leave and it ends up ruining the time away from the toxic environment.
For me, I had no support because HR was always on the side of the manager and basically said if I didnt like it, I could leave. But HR isnt supposed to be like that. I can suggest going that route and see where it leads you. If you have a supportive HR, they might be able to guide a conversation to assert yourself and work through some of the issues.
But, at the end of the day, this person isnt going to change. Nasty people will continue to be nasty, unless they want something from you. If you can, your best bet to look elsewhere.
Please hang in there and if you need someone to talk to, please reach out!
